A Stately Pleasure Dome with Roller Skates

This week we lost singer and actress Olivia Newton-John.  As a child of the 70s/80 who loved musicals, I was, of course, a fan.  I had the Grease soundtrack on 8-track, I memorized the dance moves, and I think I even dressed up as Sandy for Halloween one year. 

But Xanaduthat was amazing.

Really, ONJ, Gene Kelly, ELO, Greek mythology . . . I was all in!  I dressed my Barbies up to look like Kira and her sisters, I begged for a pair of roller skates for Christmas (which I did get and which I was never any good at using), I even contemplated learning the clarinet (which lost out to the flute since my grandfather had played the flute and I could use his, avoiding buying a new instrument).

I know it’s cheesy and the disco outfits are a bit cringey these days, but I love it.  So I thought I’d do a running commentary on a viewing – just for the joy of it.

Opening . . .

Ah, Gene.  Such a great dancer – he made everything look effortless.  I know people argue over him vs Astaire, but he’s my favorite. 

Ripping up the drawing – yeah, most artists have felt like that.  But this music is a bit ominous.  Apparently in an early version of the script, we knew that Sonny had painted the mural. 

The top of the head know ponytail always made me laugh.  But geez I wish I could spot turns like that.  (biggest weakness in dance class)

Wait, she’s wearing braided barrettes, isn’t she?!?  I think I might still have a pair in a box somewhere.  I loved those things.  Time for a comeback?

The whole concept of the hand painting of the giant record cover for promotional reasons – huh.  Today it would be printed by machine. 

I forgot that people keep trying to fix Sonny up with girls – and that random girls seem to dig him.  Some girl just lets him take her motorbike with “I’ll bring it back” (and what does mark the change from “motorized scooter/bike” to “motorcycle” – horsepower? Something to look up)

Sonny- “I run into this girl this morning – never saw her before in my life – she kisses me and disappears.”

Danny- “So what’s so weird about that?” Life must have been very different in 1980’s Cali.

I wonder how many people watching today would know the names – Glenn Miller, Tommy Dorsey, Benny Goodman.  

Man, I love that dance scene.  I used to have most of it memorized.  If I was ever on DwtS (yes, I know I would have to actually be a star first – whatever), I would love to do that.  Not sure if it really fits a particular ballroom dance, or if it would have to be a freestyle.  I’d have to brush up my tapping, though.

Oh, the scene when the two “dream” bands for the club mesh.  I love this scene. It’s so over the top (Sonny’s group is sillier than Danny’s – can you say padded dance belt?) – but the way they fit together – this was a song mash-up long before the internet made it popular. 

The animated interlude was just odd.  Not that it’s bad, but just sort of a weird insert.  And I forgot about the clothes-trying-on-montage-dance scene.  Wow, the layers of cheese on this – so delightful!

Huh – who is that voice of Zeus?  So familiar . . . Wilfrid Hyde-White – from My Fair Lady – wild.

“Suspended in Time” – I still remember these lyrics. Isn’t funny how some things just stay in our brain?

I wonder if my early love for this movie is part of why I adore Starlight Express.

Looking at all these outfits, especially the ones that are supposed to span various times, I kind of wish I could go get a degree in fashion history / costuming. 

And— the happy ending. 

There was a stage version of this – even nominated for Tonys. 

Well, it’s still cheesy and a lot of fun. 

I didn’t realize it was so panned when it came out.  Probably because I was not yet of an age that movie reviews mattered to me.  Heck, they still don’t matter much – like what you like, I say.  As long as it’s enjoyable – that’s the important thing. 

Speaking of bad movies that are still weirdly enjoyable . . . I need to finish my viewing of the Sharknado oeuvre – ONJ is in #5 – Global Swarming. 

Thanks for the music, Olivia.  You’ll be missed but always appreciated.

The Case of the Dastardly DVR

I haven’t gotten as far through my movie collection as I wanted.  I blame friends for that – one who bought me a new tv for my birthday, a fancy tv that will get netflix and disney+ and amazon prime and etc – and another who lets me watch her HBO Max and Disney+.  There’s so much stuff to watch!!

But this summer my main viewing goal is to work on cleaning off my dvr.  I’m thinking about ditching cable considering that a) I don’t watch a lot of network tv when it airs and instead b) watch the shows when they’re on a streaming service . . . not to mention that c) my cable bill keeps going up and is now separate from my internet company. 

I have a lot stored up on my dvr – in the 91% range.  A few things I can delete and watch the season on a service.  But I also have a stash of recorded movies, shows, and specials.  Whenever there was a free preview weekend for HBO or Showtime, I’d record a bunch of things, movies I was interested in seeing but not so badly that I would buy the film.  Well, and movies that I would buy but just haven’t gotten to yet.  And a few that I just haven’t seen in years.

So, thoughts on a random assortment . . .

Get Smart – I recall the tv show vaguely.  I like this movie – I think it’s fun. Steve is so good, and Dwayne is always entertaining.  Sure, some of it is cheesy and silly, but that’s the brand.  I do get irritated by little things – like why on earth would he try to use that dart gun to cut the ties on his hands? How does that make sense??  I guess this is why I never became a film editor – I’d be the annoying one who wanted perpetual reshoots and rewrites to make things make sense.     

Drive Angry – Wow.  I mean, just – wow.  Let’s be clear, I like a *lot* of bad movies, and I was, in fact, mildly entertained.  But geez, so bad.  The acting, the plot, the effects – it was all over the top ridiculous.  Which was odd, considering the quality of some of the casting. And I know I’ve never been a waitress in a small diner in a small town, but that brunette was awfully interested in Nic awfully quick.  He was not looking that great, but she didn’t care.  Really? Have some standards, dear.  Milton’s drinking from the skull was particularly terrible.  And the violence – reminds me a bit of The Expendables in the level of gore.  William Fichtner was the best part; I’d watch a series about the Accountant. 

Ghostbusters: Answer the Call – The “this is ruining my childhood!” people need to just shut up.  A, the original film is not ruined; it still exists and people can still watch it and enjoy it. B, if you don’t like this one, fine – don’t watch it.  I grew up with the original – and it came out at a time when I was very into the paranormal (like “just done a school project on the praranormal” level of into), so I feel very nostalgic about it.  Plus the cast – Bill, Harold, Dan, Ernie, Sigourney, Rick . . . perfection.  However, this one had some good points.  I liked Kate McKinnon’s character.  The plot was uneven to me, and the main leads (Kristen & Melissa) were a bit less engaging.  Chris was unexpectedly funny.  It was not as good as the original (as is the case with most sequels / remakes), but it didn’t deserve a lot of the scorn heaped upon it.

Jason Bourne – See above re: sequels declining in quality.  Matt must have worked out like hell, but . . . Hmm.  Trying to put my finger on.  Maybe that they’re still trying to work the “this was the truth about your past” angle.  Feels like that’s been covered.  And we all like Bourne enough to go with him on an adventure.  I guess they felt like it needed to be personal for him to get off his retired ass and participate, but the plots just keep getting more convoluted. 

Invincible – I usually like sports movies better than watching actual sports.  I know that this movie took plenty of liberties with the facts, but it was fun.  The scene of the tryouts made me laugh because I kept imaging myself as the equivalent of the guy in the green cape – when I went to audition for Cabaret.  “I’m in the best shape of my life” when he’s clearly not.  At least I knew that I was not near my old dancing shape.  (Though arguably, I did a better job in the show than the guy did at tryouts.)  And the note his wife left him – how he kept it around for fuel.  I think many of us have been there, even if the negative thoughts become more of an albatross instead of motivation.  I don’t really know Philly, but I’m wondering if that’s really how people there say “eagles” (I don’t think I can capture the exact intonation in writing, but it’s distinctive).  Which also makes me wonder about regional accents and how I don’t have a very pronounced one due to lots of moving (or do I only *think* it’s not there? Hmm.) – but I love trying on new speech patterns.  I wish I was more of a mimic (the speech kind, not the D&D monster kind) – and wow did this turn into rambling!

I started with some of the lighter ones, but a number of these stored films are of the “serious” nature.  “Good” films that I do want to see but which have a heavy tone – so not the usual option for a relaxing evening.  I mean, I’m assuming that The Revenant isn’t a laugh riot, but I could be wrong.  So wish me luck for some depressing evenings in the future. 

“Naughty vampire god”

A little behind with the films.  To be honest, I’ve been binging some shows – trying to catch up to the seasons on my dvr.  That and the end of summer term have been kicking my butt.  Not to mention (hand spread wide) all this (vague gesture).

The Aristocats: As an adult, I look at this and think, “hey, they never explain who the father of the kittens is/was and what happened to him.”  I suppose it shouldn’t surprise me since Disney is so fond of giving kids only one parent.  Having now had a cat (I use the word “had” loosely since she didn’t stay permanently and the kittens were a little bonkers), I now appreciate more the cat-like behavior and poses the illustrators used in some spots.  The whole “dogs take the basket and Edgar’s hat” subplot seems just to extend the duration.  But who can’t swing to “Everybody Wants to be a Cat”?

Aeon Flux: I had forgotten a number of the details of this one.  I knew it was part of my “anti-utopia” collection, but I had not watched it in at least ten years. And I had not watched the TV series.  So it was a bit odd to be watching it now – what with the pandemic on and all.  I have a feeling I will get that with a number of films as I go through my collection.  Plus Jonny Lee Miller!!  I admit that I’ve liked him since Hackers – and his work on Elementary was amazing.  I wish I could have seen him in Frankenstein with Benedict Cumberbatch – though I would have wanted to see it both ways, which would get expensive.

AVPR: Yeah, well, I did get the whole set for a steal.  It’s not good.  And I really hate the “rich kids act like dicks to the poor kid with a crush on the rich girl” trope.  I can’t say it doesn’t happen – I have no knowledge – but it’s so tired.  Sure, teenagers are jerks.  That’s true – I was one – I can confirm it – it’s the hormones.  The most interesting part is probably looking at actors and thinking – hey, that’s young Shawn from Psych!  And Sam from True Blood!  

The A-Team: I grew up with this show.  A guy in my class used to call himself Murdock and act silly (What ever did happen to Mike Powell?).  I watched a few episodes again a while back – and they are endearingly improbable.  That said, I love this movie.  It’s silly and over the top and absurd and entertaining.  I imagine the screenwriters, late at night, a little tipsy, laughing their butts off about the tank flying and taking bets on whether that scene makes the final cut into the final.  Besides – Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, Sharlto Copley, Patrick Wilson?? – so much fun.

Aliens . . . “Another glorious day in the core!”  One of the best scenes for introducing characters.   In a matter of minutes, we get brief lines which establish personalities for the Marines.  (Not fully fleshed out characters, but sense of some of them as individuals.)  So many great lines.  Top ten quotable films – plus Michael Biehn (totally on my very first freebie five list ).  

Alien3 : (not sure how to make it into a cube – and that is what I always call it – Alien cubed.) The revised cut is better in some ways – at least the dog doesn’t die.  Still annoyed about Newt and Hicks, though.  It was creatively written for not having access to weapons – but Ripley could have gotten more support if she had just told the doc what happened (aside – Charles Dance! May have to move The Golden Child up in the rotation).  

Alien Resurrection: I know not everyone liked it, but I did.  It was an interesting way to extend the character – and didn’t involve retconning Ripley being saved from the boiling liquid metal.  And Ron Perlman is always fun.  Weaver certainly got to be more of a badass in this one.  And of course, the tired “corporation/military is the enemy” trope.  It might be a nice change of pace if the corporation was actually the good guy.

But what really makes me crazy – after watching many of these in succession – is the lack of consistency with the aliens.  I suppose you could argue “different types would take different gestation times”.  But honestly, the amount of time between the facehugger implanting the embryo and the little one bursting out of the chest should be at least close to the same across the shared universe.  Instead it’s a free-for-all.  24 hours or so in one, less than an hour in another, days in another.  Okay, it needs to work with the script, being dramatic and all . . . but just changing it as a crutch is lazy writing.  

Jurassic Park: Yeah, out of order – it’s all about guidelines rather than rules 😉 . . . I remember hearing someone say that Spielberg thought it took too long to get to the island.  I don’t know where he heard that, but it took less than 20 minutes.  I’ve never thought it was too long.  Overall, well done film.  Later I would read the book in a chaos theory and literature class – and was surprised.  I’m not sure if I would still think the film was better if I had read the book first (since that seems to have a big effect), but I do think the film is at least equally as good if not better than the novel.

Blade: This is one of the films which helped kick off the new age of comics-based films.  And it was good.  Wesley made the whole thing work.  But the plot – trying to “instantly turn” everyone in the Blood God’s path?  Um, if everyone is a vampire, then who do they feed on?  They’ll be stuck feeding on animals?  And once again, we see that Whistler shoots himself, we see the gun drop, we see the sheet go back over the body . . . and yet in the second one he’s been turned?  Clear case of “oh crap we didn’t really think it would be this successful – how can we get Kris back?” retconning.  Appropriate for a comics movie, though.  Oh, and crossover for Sanaa Lathan with AVP.  And I admit, the line about ice skating uphill – the way it’s delivered makes it seem like it should be of deep meaning and importance.  But it’s really just an attempt at a burn?  

My favorite line? “How do you think we fund this organization? We’re not exactly the March of Dimes.”