When the Levee Breaks

Today I’m thinking about the body. That thing so many of us take for granted. Until there’s a problem, at which point we start noticing and bemoaning its state.

 

Those of us who have had health issues (of varying kinds) come to have a different relationship with our bodies. Sometimes love, sometimes hate, sometimes both. We worry about it, occasionally to the point of absurdity, feeling a bit betrayed that we suddenly cannot rely on this machine in which we are forced to travel. It seemed so reliable, we think, and there is no trade-in program . . .

 

But the complexity of the way the body functions is what fascinates me. The way an injury to my back can radiate and have so many other effects is a sobering reminder (and metaphor) of how interconnected the parts of us – and life – are.

 

I’ve studied a bit (not enough – though a polymath is never done studying!) on topics like massage, reflexology, yoga, acupuncture, pilates, dance, and plain ol’ stretching. We use our bodies more freely when we are younger. Then we grow older and become more body conscious (or self-conscious) in some ways (does this make me look fat?) – and less aware in others (did I do anything that would count as exercise today?). Too many hours spent hunched over computers and desks or slumped on a couch take their toll on us. We often forget little things – like how good it feels to stretch.

 

Dogs and cats do this often – stretching out their bodies in luxurious ways to sleep or unkinking their backs after being still for a while. There’s a reason that yoga pose is called downward dog. Stretching helps us to function, yet many of us could stand to do a bit more of it.

 

When we stretch out our muscles, it helps us be more aware of how the parts of the body work together. Stretching the hamstrings loosens the legs, which helps the back, which helps the arms and neck, which helps the face and head (starting to sound like the old lady who swallowed a fly, but the chain of interaction is valid – and much easier on the digestion). I am both intrigued and alarmed by how a lower back injury can cause shooting numbness down my upper arm.

 

And it’s not just a physical connection but a mental one as well. When we have too much emotion swirling around in our minds, our bodies respond by forcing liquid out of our eyes. Somehow, our bodies evolved to make the eyes the sluice gates for the levees in our heads, and tears help prevent the dams from breaking. How odd we are that our bodies push this overflow of sentiment (good and bad) out through a tiny opening in the eye – and that it relieves the pressure and makes us feel better (at least, usually/ eventually).

 

Crying is, in fact, a necessity. It is too often looked down upon – either as something “girls” do or something that men should not do – when it is just a physiological reaction, one that helps keep the body functioning. Yes, it can be embarrassing and inconvenient, but occasionally we need to do it. Letting the tears flow can help not just our mental but our physical state. After an intense crying session, our bodies feel deflated, wrung out like a soggy tissue, because we have pushed out some of the tension rippling through us.

 

That has to happen, on occasion. The tension we build up from stress – physical, mental, and emotional – has to find release somehow. If we don’t start to pay attention when our bodies are giving us headaches, backaches, indigestion, sleeplessness, exhaustion, etc., the body will rebel. “No, thank you, I’m not going to work today. You’ve been treating me like garbage, and so today I’m shutting down. Good luck with everything. No, don’t back talk to me – you brought this on yourself.” And so we sob, or rage, or sleep for 15 hours, something to let the body have a momentary respite.

 

Do we learn our lesson? Well, we humans are pretty stubborn – and convinced of our own importance. Most of us probably continue on with our lives, telling our whiny body to suck it up when it starts to feel run down.

 

Why does taking care of our own needs feel so selfish? Isn’t this like being on a plane – secure your oxygen mask before helping others?

 

I’m guilty of this, too. So what do we do?

 

Take time for ourselves. Sit. Observe. Stretch. Meditate. (Lots of people get put off by that last one, but even a walk outside watching the wind in the tress can be meditative.) And breathe!

 

Deep breaths can help us be present in our bodies. Long ago in an undergrad voice class, our professor had us breath in through our noses and exhale through our mouths while visualizing the air coming out different parts of our bodies. (Yes, this is starting to sound like Bull Durham and “breathing through your eyelids” like the lava lizards of the Galapagos Islands – this class was shortly after the film came out – maybe my prof was a fan.)

 

No, we didn’t think the air was actually going out our legs or fingers. But it mainly served to draw our attention to various parts of our bodies – looking for tension and being aware of our physical state. And I still do that – particularly during a difficult physical therapy session – trying to visualize the air dispersing through my body can distract me a little from the pain.

 

On that note, I think perhaps I’ve been sitting at the computer for too long. I should go stretch my body and breathe through my eyelids – just like the lava lizards.

 

 

“Life Is But a Series of Choices.”

I’m trying to catch up on a few shows – okay, a bunch of shows – that are stored up on my dvr. Just never enough time during the semester to keep up with these things! And not enough space/capability to record all the shows I want to see, let alone those I have a passing interest in perusing.

 

This week I caught up on the third season of Sleepy Hollow, and I found myself thinking, “What just happened?” In the penultimate episode, Joe gets killed off. Never mind that Pandora supposedly cured him of the wendigo infection a mere two episodes earlier. But I was annoyed at the death for two reasons.

 

One, the couple (Joe and Jenny) were finally making it work. I know, however, that a moment of happiness is the sweet spot to tv writers. Is the couple happy? Then kill one to underscore that life is tragedy and misery. Honestly, it’s like every television show gives its reins over to the ghost of Kafka or Nietzsche.

 

Two, I thought it was a cheap way to undercut an interracial relationship without killing off the black partner. I admit I missed some of season 2, but the relationship between Jenny and Joe never struck me as a big deal; they were just together. I liked that the couple seemed to be more about being a couple than about being an emblematic pairing that “proved” something. But as Joe died, I realized, “Hey, there goes the interracial couple.”

 

(And yes, I’m one of those people who think that the latest FF movie wimped out by not making Sue and Johnny both black. I get the idea of the “it’s a blended family, and there are lots of those, why should we have to explain it?” argument. But I still think it was a wimpy choice. Just cast them both as black – don’t tell me there aren’t some fantastic actresses who could have played that part. They might not have wanted to, considering the script, but I digress.)

 

The death of Joe Corbin (which also seems cheap – now that I think about it – since his father was killed off in the first episode – did he even make it past the second commercial break?) quickly became overshadowed (or maybe I was one of the only ones who felt it didn’t work well) by the death of Abbie Mills in the final episode of the season.

 

This death is problematic is multiple ways, too. Killing off a lead is a risky proposition. Like many people on social media, I agree that the chemistry between the leads – Abbie and Ichabod Crane – was a large part of what made the show worth watching. Mysteries to be solved, bad guys to be caught (or defeated in the supernatural sense) – that can be found on a myriad of programs. I know; I watch some of them. But the mystery of the week will not carry viewers through. It’s the characters that we care about.

 

Ichabod Crane: That building used to be a livery stables.

Abbie Mills: Yeah? Well, now it’s a Starbucks. Where they make coffee.

Ichabod Crane: And that building is also a Starbucks?

Abbie Mills: Yep.

Ichabod Crane: Well, how many are there?

Abbie Mills: Per block?

Ichabod Crane: Is there a law?

 

The interplay of the two witnesses (as they discover they are) was the main draw. Yes, I also like freaky supernatural stuff (I’m a mythology and folklore buff – yes, I’ve watched Supernatural since the beginning), but I like the actors and the characters. The story lines are not always so great, but I kept coming back to the show because of the people.

 

Abbie Mills: You dropped your gun.

Ichabod Crane: It was empty.

Abbie Mills: You only fired one shot.

Ichabod Crane: There are more?

 

And I especially enjoyed the fact that they were a team and yet not love interests. (So maybe I should be thankful one got killed before the writers could go down that road?)

 

A number of viewers have already taken to the internet to proclaim that without Abbie, the show is not worth watching any more. (To be fair, a fourth season has not been announced yet. Perhaps we won’t get one.)

 

But the larger problem that is also being discussed on social media is the significance of killing off the black female lead, not the white male lead. One fan even pointed out that reducing the character’s purpose to having been a guide for Crane further robs her of identity and agency. (https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/arts-and-entertainment/wp/2016/04/12/after-a-shocking-death-on-sleepy-hollow-fans-are-questioning-how-the-show-treats-characters-of-color/)

 

Fans are still talking about how Captain Irving (Orlando Jones) was treated poorly before he left. And that both endings for both characters were tepid at best. I have to go with that; for a show that had some great writing over the seasons, Abbie’s death was kind of uninteresting and anti-climactic. I was surprised that she actually died because the tension level seemed so meh at that point.

 

My reaction could also be colored by decades of reading comics, knowing that a character is only as dead as the current writer wants him/her to be. A new writer can retcon anything.

 

The furor over her death seems amplified by some other recent deaths of lesbian characters on shows like The 100, Vampire Diaries, Jane the Virgin, and The Walking Dead. I don’t watch all these shows, so I don’t have firsthand knowledge, but apparently there have been 10 lesbian/bisexual deaths so far in 2016.

 

This stands out mainly because there are so few of these characters on television. A report by GLAAD in 2015 says that there were 35 regular characters who were LGB – out of around 881 characters total. That’s four percent. (http://www.glaad.org/whereweareontv15)

 

So when 10 of those characters get killed off, there goes nearly a third of the group.

 

While these numbers are focusing on sexual orientation, I don’t imagine it’s that far off from racial minorities. As Viola Davis pointed out when winning her Emmy, there aren’t many roles to choose from. Maybe a dozen leading parts for minority women? Two dozen? How big does a part need to be to be considered a “lead”?   Does Cam on Bones count as a lead? I’m not sure on the specifics of that.

 

Now I’m starting to wander over new territory that I should probably read up on more before I begin spouting off about it. So I’ll wrap up.

 

I can understand the impulse to kill a core character. What Joss Whedon fan doesn’t? But the death needs to be well written and earned. Abbie’s departure seemed more about shock value (and maybe contract negotiations) than any profound moment of storytelling. As I say, though, I’m a comics fan. My brain immediately started working on possible ways to bring her back.

 

Hey, if it worked for Jean Grey, why not Abbie Mills? Where’s Kurt Busiek when you need him?

 

 

“You Keep Using That Word; I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means.”

Yesterday was National Equal Pay Day. Apparently, April 12 is the day “that symbolizes how far into the year women must work to earn what men earned in the previous year.” (http://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/2016/04/12/equal-pay-day-inequality-women-gender/82913078/)

 

Now I was well aware that women earn less per hour than men for doing the same job. That is old information – which I had hoped would have changed more by this point in our nation’s history. But I had not heard of the reasoning for marking that particular date.

 

What brought all this to my attention was a facebook post. A friend of a friend had posted a screen shot of a series of tweets by a woman on the topic of #EqualPayDay. I was surprised by the litany of complaints that almost protested the day. Basically, they boiled down to the following list of problems that the speaker seems to believe women “complain” about and the way that women can overcome those problems, earning more money.

 

–Women with kids leave the workforce more than men – so keep working

–Men work more dangerous jobs – so women should go be oil drillers

–Women go into fields like education & psychology – so go into STEM fields

–Women want jobs with flexibility – so get a 9-5 job

–Men work longer hours – so women should work longer hours

–Women don’t negotiate their pay like men do – so ask for more money

 

While my friend had commented (and that was why I even saw this post) on the difficulty that women have in the STEM fields (put a pin in that – we’ll be back), most of the comments that I saw below the post were along the lines of “Exactly!” – “Women are whiners!” – “Shut up and work if you want to make more money!”

 

My reaction was, “Wow, they really don’t understand the concept of equal pay.”

 

Most of these points are – well – dumb. Of course someone who works more hours will earn more money – if the work is paid hourly. Of course someone who works more years will earn more money. A person can’t earn money with no job. And of course certain jobs have higher rates of pay. A customer service rep does not earn the same salary as a shift manager; a paralegal generally does not earn the same salary as a lawyer.

 

Duh.

 

No one is saying that “equal pay” means a woman and a man should have the same income for the year regardless of their jobs. The crux of the matter is that if there are two open spots with the same level of responsibility, and a man and a woman (with identical degrees in business and identical GPAs) are hired, the chances are strong that the man will be hired at a higher rate of pay than the woman.

 

That’s the problem we’re talking about. Two people doing the exact same job should earn the same amount of money.

 

I’m reminded of the leaked info from the Sony hack. Not only did it point out that Jennifer Lawrence made less than her male co-stars (and she already had an Oscar while Cooper and Renner did not), but it highlighted that the two co-presidents of production at Columbia Pictures have an almost $1 million difference in their pay: $2.4 mil for the man, $1.5 mil for the woman. While I can certainly understand that the higher paid person might have more experience, that’s a pretty steep gap for two people doing the same job. (And I’m not just holding Ghost Rider and The Love Guru against De Luca.)

 

These tweets also try to make the whole situation appear incredibly simple: just make different choices and voila! more money. But reality is not that simple.

 

Women have trouble getting maternity leave or coming back after maternity leave – or even just getting hired because employers assume that women will *at some point* go off and have kids. According to a Guardian article,

“A third of managers would rather employ a man in his 20s or 30s over a woman of the same age for fear of maternity leave, according to a new study. A survey of 500 managers by law firm Slater & Gordon showed that more than 40% admitted they are generally wary of hiring a woman of childbearing age, while a similar number would be wary of hiring a woman who has already had a child or hiring a mother for a senior role.”

The study to which the article refers also discusses how a third of management “claim that women are not as good at their jobs when they come back from maternity leave.” And this was written in 2014.

 

So what should women do? Not have children? Promise that the husband will be staying home to shoulder the majority of the burden? It’s not even the woman’s problem. Managers don’t want to hire a woman of a certain age just because they fear she will want to have children. And women are penalized for already having children in a way that men are not (when it comes to hiring) – because it is assumed that the woman will be with the children more than the man.

 

That is all on society. How is a woman supposed to fight all that before she even gets the job and wants to earn equal pay?

 

As for “work more hours” or “work a 9-5 job” or “work longer,” well, that again is not always in the control of the worker. Just wanting a 9-5 job does not mean a person gets to have one, nor does wanting extra hours mean a person gets them – regardless of gender.

 

Oh, and the “ask for more money” bit? Okay, pumpkin, you try that and let me know how it goes.

 

Asking for more money – either at the start of a job or as a raise – just doesn’t go over well for almost anyone these days. The employers hold the cards; there might be hundreds of applicants for the job. Why bother with someone who wants more money when the employer can just move on to another qualified person who will settle for the first offer?

 

Add in that women in particular are seen as “pushy” or “bitchy” or “hard to work with” if they ask for more money. Again, this is not a new idea and is well documented. I remember the blog post that made the rounds a couple of years ago about a woman who had been offered a job at a college and when she tried to negotiate, her job offer disappeared. Granted, there could be factors we don’t know about, and we cannot assume we know the whole story. But the consensus seems to be that there was no discussion: she sent an email with requests, acknowledging that some might be easier to fulfill than others, and asked what the new employer thought. The response was not to talk about the options but to say never mind about the job.

 

Women in general suffer more when they try to negotiate. The New Yorker article about this incident points out that studies have shown this repeatedly. “In four studies, Bowles and collaborators from Carnegie Mellon found that people penalized women who initiated negotiations for higher compensation more than they did men.” Just another hurdle in the “do these simple things and you’ll make as much money as a man” checklist.

 

So let’s go back to the argument of how women should just go into fields where they would make more money. I know nothing about being an oil driller, so I checked. An NPR article from last year tells me it’s not as bad as I thought it would be. I assumed a fair amount of sexism and trouble getting hired. This article suggests that while the sexism is there, the climate has gotten better, and that companies like ExxonMobil are now going after female employees.

“The oil giant holds an annual “Introduce a Girl to Engineering Day.” The company also sends its female engineers and scientists to middle schools as mentors and instructors, “all aimed at getting [female students] interested in the subject and preparing them for taking math and science courses in high school that will help them study engineering in college,” Keil says.”

 

Great – so what’s stopping women?

 

Oh, yeah, back to my friend Rick’s point about women having trouble in the STEM fields. It’s well documented that girls are simply not as encouraged from a young age when it comes to interest in math and science. (Interesting article with Eileen Pollack about her book on being a woman in the sciences: http://www.pbs.org/newshour/bb/encouraging-girls-become-scientists-rocket-science/)

 

Women also have to deal with things like the idiocy of elected officials (like U.S. Representative Louie Gohmert and a few others) who vote against a bill that would “increase federal funds to programs that promote women in the fields of Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics (STEM) within the commercial free market.” Mainly because what about those poor little boys we’ll be leaving behind if we force girls into science?

 

(This from the man who brilliantly links a idea of limits on gun magazines to the issue of gay marriage – no, I can’t really explain it because it made no sense to me. Something about how limiting a magazine to 10 bullets was arbitrary, like if we say marriage is not just one man and one woman, then we’ll have three men and one woman or one person and an animal – “There is no clear place to draw the line once you eliminate the traditional marriage and it’s the same once you start putting limits on what guns can be used” – like I said, I can’t explain it. Bonus points to you if you can. But I fear understanding Gohmert is a path to Lovecraftian sanity loss.)

 

Or women have to deal with a Nobel Prize winning scientist who suggests that women should be banned from labs because they are a distraction. He says, “Three things happen when they are in the lab: you fall in love with them, they fall in love with you, and when you criticise them they cry.” And he defended these remarks by saying he meant them to be “light-hearted and ironic” but he was also trying to be “honest.” The Daily Mail article additionally points out that, “Science careers are still vastly dominated by men, with only 13 per cent of workers being women. The gap is also significant in academia, where 84 per cent of full-time professors working in science, engineering and technology are men.”

 

(Incidentally, if you didn’t follow the eruption on twitter of women scientists tweeting pictures of themselves as #distractinglysexy in things like hazmat suits, then you missed out. “I did an entire liver transplant without crying or falling in love!” one scientist bragged.)

 

So where and how are women supposed to study and get into these higher paying STEM fields? Yes, they can make it through – it’s not impossible. But it’s also not as simple as just saying “oh, I think I want to make more money so I’ll go into ____.”  The bias against women in the field exists, and so getting the education or experience necessary to get the jobs can be a great challenge.

 

Again, not that women can’t overcome that challenge. But it’s a complex issue, layered with centuries of sexism and bias. These tweets are missing the critical core issue of equal pay for equal work and displaying a lack of critical thinking. Yes, these issues of being discriminated against simply for being able to bear children and the subconscious bias that privileges men do need to be dealt with eventually. (And that bias is there – everywhere – just check out the story about how students give better evaluations to teachers they think are male – https://news.ncsu.edu/2014/12/macnell-gender-2014/)

 

These attitudes are entrenched and will take a long time to overcome. It’s not as simple as “just work more” or “get a different job.” But let’s start with the core issue – being paid the same amount for the same work. Maybe if we can conquer that, we can feel more like we’re building something and less like Sisyphus rolling that boulder up the mountain.

 

Whew – more than I meant to write, but these things happen.

 

 

Sony Hack info

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/12/12/exclusive-sony-hack-reveals-jennifer-lawrence-is-paid-less-than-her-male-co-stars.html

Maternity leave issue

http://www.theguardian.com/money/2014/aug/12/managers-avoid-hiring-younger-women-maternity-leave

Negotiating

http://www.newyorker.com/science/maria-konnikova/lean-out-the-dangers-for-women-who-negotiate

Women on oil rigs

http://www.npr.org/2015/05/08/400353815/oil-companies-look-to-fill-employment-gap-with-more-women

Nobel scientist

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3117648/Ban-women-male-labs-distracting-cry-criticised-says-Nobel-prize-winner-Sir-Tim-Hunt.html

Distractingly sexy

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2015/06/12/1392725/–Distractingly-Sexy-female-scientists-launch-hilarious-campaign-mocking-Nobel-Laureate-scientist?detail=email#

Gohmert’s comments

Louie Gohmert Thought He’d Be the Speaker of the House. Here Are 14 Other Crazy Things He Believes.