Author: nfreim

Tomorrow Is Promised to No One

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“Some days are diamonds

Some days are rocks”

 

Two years ago today, I was serving as a dramaturge for a production of Twelfth Night.  I was also assistant stage manager and a costuming assistant – these things happen when you can’t say no.  Shakespeare in the Park – a lovely July afternoon.

Two hours before curtain, the actor playing Fabian became ill and needed to go to the hospital (she was in the military – and she’s kind of a bad-ass – so if she needed to go, you knew it was serious).  Community theatre being what it is, we didn’t have a roster of understudies.  The director asked an actor with a smaller part, but he said he did not feel confident switching.  I think the director was considering going on himself.  I said that I would do it.  

It made sense, really.  I’d been at most every rehearsal, I had done detailed annotations on the script, and I’d spent many nights reading parts when people needed to miss.  We even had roughly the same build, so I could fit into the costume.  And, once upon a time, I had been an acting major.  I hadn’t been on a stage in nearly 20 years, but the show must go on, right??  So I crammed like hell and prayed that I wouldn’t throw up.

I didn’t have all the blocking down – and I missed a few lines – but I did manage to get both the longer speeches correct.  It felt amazing.

It made me remember how I loved acting – the fun of live theatre, the joy of the words.  I started acting when I got the leads in my third grade class plays (head pilgrim’s wife and last year’s rag doll, if you must know) – mainly due to my memorization abilities.  Since that evening, I’ve done a couple of local plays (I’ll spare you the Cabaret stories for tonight).  It’s a singular experience, and one I used to enjoy immensely.  I’m glad I got to remember that.

 

A year ago today, I was confined to the house recovering from major surgery – and shocked to hear that a friend had died suddenly and tragically in a bicycle vs car accident.

That sort of thing gives us a very different perspective.

People always talk about living after losing someone – “you have to live for ___ – he/she would want you to!”  It’s a weird way to try to jolt ourselves out of mourning.  To convince ourselves to embrace life even though we’re miserable.

I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately because well, there’s the current state of the world, for one.  But I’ve also lost two friends in the last month, and I’m struggling.  Trying to “live for today” and “make the most of your life!” gets heavy sometimes.  Especially with the stress fatigue that we’re all feeling thanks to the party that is 2020.  

How do we hold on to the feeling, that need to do more and be more and drink deeply of life – without letting it make us maudlin?  How do we keep it encouraging rather than a burden we are not fulfilling?  How do we make it something we are glad to feel despite the pain?

Sadly, I do not currently have the answers.  Though I suppose we can take wisdom from Sleepless in Seattle – and just keep getting up, breathing in and out, and trying.  That’s what we owe ourselves – to keep going.

 

“Some things are over

Some things go on

Part of me you carry

Part of me is gone”

 

Doesn’t Everyone?

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If you are a fan of The Dresden Files, you probably already know that the sixteenth book in the series came out today.  And if you are a fan of the series, you’ve probably been waiting for this book ever since the last one – in 2014.  As Jim Butcher was working on this book, it became so long that it was split into two, and we’re getting the seventeenth book in September (a mere 77 days from now!).

Tangent – I’ve seen some people online who were complaining earlier this year – along the lines of “screw Butcher for taking too damn long to write this book! No way I’m buying it!!”  Look, from 2000 through 2015, the guy put out 23 books.  Not counting graphic novels and various short stories and other writings.  So if he needed some extra time on this one because life happens, that’s just fine with me.  He’s not a trained monkey to dance when the fans want him to.  I wonder if these are the same type of people who ask artists to do things for them at a huge discount and/or for free just “for the exposure” (insert eye-roll emoji here).

Back to the main point.  The new book release.  And my apparently weird habit.

When I’m reading a series and the next book is coming out, I go back and re-read the series.  Or sometimes I just re-read a series for the heck of it.  (Disclaimer: I’ve never read the whole Wheel of Time  series – I’ve been assured that that would break my habit.)  I figured this is something everyone does, but I was recently informed that “normal” people don’t do that.

All I can say is that they’re missing out.

Now I do have friends who read more slowly than I do, and they’ve said they have to be selective about what they read simply in the interest of time.  (Only so much time and so many books so why re-read something?)  I can see that.  

But re-reading something – just like re-watching a film – can give me another layer of understanding and enjoyment.  And in something like this series, with its world building and constant expansion of mythos, a re-read lets me have everything fresh in my mind.  I’m even reading them in order – with the short stories and graphic novels in chronological order. (Yes, I’m that sort of book nerd.  I’m good with it.)

I am teaching summer class, however, and dealing with (gesturing vaguely at the world), so I did not get my re-read started as early as I would have liked.  I’m not through with the old stuff and ready to start the new one.

That’s fine with me.  Anticipation can be a lovely thing.

A friend speculated that I’d give in and crack the new book within 48 hours.  I said that wouldn’t happen.  I can wait.  I can take my time and enjoy all the stories along the way.  If I time it right, I can finish Peace Talks right before Battle Ground comes out – all one big story.  (And read some other stuff in the meantime.)

Besides, in case the next installment after these takes time, I should make 16 & 17 last, right?  

It’s not like I have a bunch of other books waiting to be read . . . oh.  Yeah.  

DVDs Don’t Go Bad, Do They?

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I’m a bit of a movie junkie.  Okay, a lot of a movie junkie.  Once during a conversation with a colleague, he was trying to remember the name of a movie – which he described as “the pregnant burger movie.”  I said, “Oh, Home Fries with Luke Wilson and Drew Barrymore?”  He said, “Yes!  You’ve seen it?”  And I replied, “No.”  

Yeah, my brain just retains stuff like that.  Incidentally, I did see it some time after that.  But now I don’t remember much about it other than it was  “the pregnant burger movie.”

With my movie addiction comes a large dvd collection.  The kind where I’ve had to find alternative storage because those plastic cases take up too much space.  It’s those darn cheap bins at Target and Walmart!  The dvds don’t really go “bad” – and a $5 dvd is cheaper than going to the theatre.  So I wind up with a lot of movies.

Thanks to the quarantine, I’ve started to go through my movie collection.  Hopefully there will be some fun surprises as I watch old favorites – and some enjoyable new films.  (Yes, I sometimes pick up a film, intending to watch it later, and then forget about it.  Especially if I buy it near finals.)  Maybe I’ll even find some movies that I don’t think are worth keeping and might actually shrink my collection.

Probably won’t happen since I’m a pack rat and I love bad movies, but that’s probably an issue for a therapist.

I’m trying to go in rough alphabetical order unless a whim takes me.  (How can I not watch Jaws on July 4th?)  I know some people would alphabetize a film that starts with a number under the spelling of that number, but I put the numerical ones first.  Seven  goes under S, but something like 101 Dalmatians goes at the beginning.

Speaking of, I had forgotten many details about 101 Dalmatians.  The twilight bark!  The insane capabilities of Cruella’s car to make it up and down snowy ditches – that’s impressive.  And sheer cuteness of the scene where the puppies are all watching the Thunderbolt show – and they’re all wagging their tails – so I’m a sucker for cartoon puppies – it happens. 

Then there’s The 10th Kingdom.  Underrated in many ways.  Yes, the golden retriever who is a major character was adorable.  But an interesting blend of fairy tale elements and fun.  I still can’t hear “Whiter Shade of Pale” without thinking of the mushrooms singing “cartwheels cross the floor.”  

2 Guns was also fun.  I mean, Denzel could read the phone book out loud and it would be a work of art, so anything with him can make my list.  Throw in Bill Paxton, and it’s worth watching.  Based on a comic book series, though I have not read it, which explains some of the outlandish bits.  

And 300 . . . Michael Fassbender notwithstanding, well, it’s a Snyder film.  Look, I appreciate the ways they tried to use some of the cool bits from the comic – and some of the visuals are amazing.  But geez, the narration?  The overacting?  The endless slo-mo?  Plus I still loathe – and yes, I mean loathe – what they did with the Queen’s character.  I understand that they wanted to have something more for Lena to do, but what they chose . . . Gorgo would have kicked Theron’s ass for even asking for sex.  No way she would have done that.  Does not work with her character at all.

The worst part?  I picked up 300 as a set – two movies on one dvd – so the sequel (which I have avoided until now) is lurking out there, waiting for me to watch it.  But that’s for another night.